If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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