i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
