She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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