Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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