i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
