I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
