no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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