You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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