I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize