Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
