There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
