i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
