i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
