Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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