ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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