3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
