Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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