Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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