He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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