would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she told me i tasted like america
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
