I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
