she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
