five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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