so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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