the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
