I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
