i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
