he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
