so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize