I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
