Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
