just tell him i said nine months
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
