I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize