If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
