lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
