Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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