Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize