Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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