Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
