I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
