LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
