let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
