Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Randomize
