She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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