I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This is my gift to your gina
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
