Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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