i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
