this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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