I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just want nice things and good sex
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
