Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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