New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
