"it" just moved
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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