You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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