I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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