She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
