Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
