I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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