haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
