Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
